How to Get Children to Listen to You

November 10th, 2009 Filed under: Life, Pre-School, Work | Tags: children, listening, teaching

Almost everyday I see a teacher or parent get angry or frustrated at a child because ‘they don’t listen’. Most of the time it’s not the children who aren’t listening, it’s the adults.

Too often adults get frustrated when they ask a child ‘Can you put away your toys please?’ and the child answers ‘No’. Then the child gets frustrated when they get in trouble for not listening. They did listen and they answered the question, you just didn’t like the answer.

Adults seemed to forget the difference between a question/request and an order/command. If the child doesn’t have a choice then don’t offer them one.

Using the above example, it would be much better to say ‘Jimmy, it’s time to put your toys away now, thank you.’ Notice how it is directed at the child (using their name), firm and to the point yet still polite. Make sure to use thank you instead of please at the end. Please infers a request, while thank you gives praise for an action that is going to be done.

If you’re still having trouble with the child, try giving extra praise right after the order. For example ‘Sara, it’s time to go to bed now thank you. You’ve been such a good listener today I’m so proud of you. I think you deserve a special story tonight!’ The more praise you give them before they follow out the order the more pressure they feel to complete that order to deserve the praise they have been given.

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